i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
