did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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