Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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