I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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