If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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