why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
