i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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