I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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