You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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