How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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