I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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