So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
