Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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