i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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