Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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