she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
