Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
