So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
