You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
