He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
