He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
