Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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