I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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