just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
