You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
