Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
