There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
