I puked a lego.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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