She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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