i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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