The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
