none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
