Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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