After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Boobs are out for the taking
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
