He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
