I'm eating all of the evidence.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
