I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
