WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
