I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
