I heard we made out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
