no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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