His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
