spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
