I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
