Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
