My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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