A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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