I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is the high leading the old right now
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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