My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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