Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
